Title: The Big Squeeze
Author: Christopher Athens
Cover artist: Uncredited (!!!?)
Condition: 9/10
Value: $15-20
- Billy woulda taken first place at the 9th grade art show for sure but the judges said his rad painting, which is obviously a commentary on free speech, had "sexual content" and they totally disqualified him, like what is this, Soviet Russia? Bogus.
- Seriously, though, what is happening?
- The dude ... did the dude forget his ... shoe? Is that a shoe? A tipped over bag of groceries? A melted turntable? I know I should be focused on the naked ladies, but...
- Are they going up or down? Also, why? Also, is Red dead? Also, why?
- Protip: cover one of the most important visual elements of your cover with giant block letters so the reader has no idea wtf is going on. It's avant-garde!
- This book is in perfect condition ... is the best thing I can say about this book.
- OK, right off the bat, I can tell you the cover copy writer has limited experience with what we in the writing business call "verbs."
- BRB, relabeling all my booze "Parts Cleaner"
- "Three-and-a-half bells?" Are we at sea?
- "This pair of chicks tried to pick me up once and ... what? You don't know them. They live in Canada. ANYway, these totally real chicks..."
- Who the f is "Tom Anthony"?
Page 123~
"Brush my teeth," I said, holding a hand in front of my mouth."Oh," exhaled Barbara. "When you said 'oral' I thought ... well, nevermind what I thought ..."
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]
5 comments:
Trying to figure out which of the front cover, back cover or page 123 is the most off-putting. The only thing I'm sure of is that I don't want to read this book!
Could the mystery object be the guy's pants? And why is "Station" always capitalized on the front cover?
Tom Anthony would appear to be the editor, since the section his name seems to be appended to is titled The Editor's View.
How can I brush your teeth if you keep holding your hand in front of your mouth?
Editor of what? The book? I've never seen such a thing! This book has it all!
RP
Don't blame the artist for not taking credit mom this one.......
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