Title: Amorous Dietitian
Author: Mary Shomette Gooch
Cover artist: [I know his name but it's eluding me right now...] [Is it Robert Bonfils?]
Estimated value: $INFINITY (no copies listed at abebooks)
[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
- "O god you smell like onions [smack smack smack] that's so hot [slurp]..."
- Tony Curtis *is* ... The Dietitian *in* ... "Some Like It Hot (& Sour)!"
- This is possibly the dumbest concept in the history of sex fiction. "We've done the whole doctors/nurses thing ... where can we go? ..." "Uh ... truck-driving?" "Really? Truck-driving? DO TRUCK DRIVERS WEAR WHITE LAB COATS, BOB? DO THEY!? How's anyone gonna get properly aroused without white lab coats, you idiot!"
- Nice inner side-boob, which I think used to be called "cleavage."
- What kind of antiseptic seraglio is this? Between our breath-smellers in the foreground and the butt-grabbers in the background, there doesn't appear to be much dietitianing happening up in here.
- First sentence = instant LOL. You can "grin" words now?
- Ladies and gentlemen, meet your newest dietitian: Clete.
- Mmm, breasts in the raw. Pretty sure I saw that on a Brooklyn bar menu.
- Jesus, does this woman have any body parts that aren't breasts?
- "She was a woman and clean." One of the all-time great mic-drop lines. Biblical in its epicness and crypticness. All other writers can suck it. There's a new word sheriff in town.
Page 123~
Warren Grant turned, looked at her, then grinned and sauntered over. His eyes rested on her jutting breasts for a moment, then lifted to her face.
Mary Shomette Gooch graduated summa cum laude from the Grin & Boob School of Writingticians.
~RP
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7 comments:
This cannot be a real thing. I simply refuse to believe it. "Clete"?
It's a perfectly dietitious name.
AMOROUS DIETICIAN? The title alone makes this worth infinity bucks. I'd frame it and put it on the wall!
"Nurses, doctors, dietitians, everybody searches." Wow. That has got to be one of the greatest bits of cover copy ever. Lucky I wasn't enjoying a beverage or I would have spit-taked on the laptop.
I'm just shocked that the author actually described sagging breasts in an erotic novel. You don't even get that in regular novels about women who've had ten kids unless she's somehow the villain of the piece and trying to seduce the hero.
This has to be one of the worst titles for this (or any other) genre that I have ever seen. I tried to come up with worse, but they all sounded better than this. It's like a placeholder and they forgot to come up with a real title.
You had me at Mary Shomette Gooch!
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