Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Paperback 800 (!!): Monica / George Simon (Chariot Books CB176)

Paperback 800: Chariot Books CB176 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Monica
Author: George Simon
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $21


Best things about this cover:

  • "Joe Came to Sell Storm Windows…" Erotic!
  • The editor in me wants to remove the absurdly redundant "Blasting" and then put scare quotes around "Love."
  • I assume this is a portrait of Monica as viewed through one of Joe's grimy storm windows. Erotic!
  • Seriously, it's like the artist did a rather nice painting and then got drunk and angry and depressed and just wrecked the thing with a really shitty eraser.
  • The em dashes are slaying me. It's like a bunch of false starts instead of a list of Exciting! Adjectives!
  • What did he "give" them? Backrubs? Advice? Chickenpox? … oh … OH! … I think it's sex.


Best things about this back cover:

  • SALESMEN BEWARE … sexy ladies might offer themselves to you and then writhe in pleasure … it's horrible.
  • SALESMEN BEWARE … some ladies can remove their heads and then underneath they are lizard creatures who won't buy any of your storm windows … it's horrible.
  • That "bikini" is, without a doubt, drawn on. Scribbled, more like. And not by a reader. Like … it came that way. That is some pretty low-rent design right there.
  • Uh … fear hand? Sure, fear hand. Close enough.

Page 123~

When her purse fell off the night table its contents scattered on the floor. In addition to the usual feminine gear, there was a roll of bills as big as a pound of butter, half a dozen snaps of nude ladies, and [a] .32 snub-nosed automatic. Dear little Monica …

First, I am enjoying imagining "the usual feminine gear," which in my mind includes brass knuckles and a vibrator. And second, I can't wait to use the "pound of butter" analogy in conversation and have people stare at me blankly. Me, after a pause: "FOUR STICKS!" Them: "Ah … yes ... OK. Got it. My, that *is* a large vibrator."


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DemetriosX said...

That streaky look is pretty common to cover art from the time period. It's a pity, since otherwise that's a nice bit of cover art for the genre.

Photo girl on the back has an awfully long neck. And that's more like "ecstasy hand" I'd say.

Graham Powell said...

That cover photo may be "Lusty!" and "Shocking!", but it sure ain't "Revealing!"

Brian Busby said...

George Simon, not to be confused with Georges Simenon.

[lrf] said...

This is the second time this week I've seen someone puzzled by seeing something compared to a pound of butter. I'm guessing at one time this was a lot more obvious than it seems now: everybody knew that butter always came in one-pound packages and exactly how big that was. Kind of like everybody knew what it meant if something was "bigger than a breadbox." Only the breadbox reference managed to outlive the breadbox.

Sleaze PB Life said...

George Simon was a pseudonym for Keith Ayling who also used the names Hilary Hilton and Arthur Adlon. Too bad this copy has that price blackout.