Sunday, March 25, 2012

Paperback 512: The Restless Romeo / J.X. Williams (Ember Library 346)

Paperback 512: Ember Library 346 (PBO, 1966)

Title: The Restless Romeo
Author: J.X. Williams
Cover artist: someone having too much fun

Yours for: Not for Sale (gift to the collection from Doug Peterson)

Best things about this cover:

  • Romeo got restless, so he did what any restless young man might do: he used his car to hunt women for sport. Really calms the nerves. I hear.
  • "These eyes ... fry every night ... for you."
  • Who runs with their arms like that? Or is she doing crazed, doped-up calisthenics in the desert? I see: her boyfriend isn't trying to run her down—he's slowly backing away. Yes, her body is pretty amazing, but you do *not* want her attention when she's like this. "Please don't around please don't turn around please..."
  • I believe this is the picture for which the phrase "hopped up on goofballs" was invented.

Best things about this back cover:

  • "Romeo," eh? I must have missed the part in Shakespeare's play where Romeo snatches Juliet and takes her to the basement of his villa.

Page 123~

Waves of heat invaded his body. Thoroughly stimulated by her weight, he dug his fingers into the blooming bottom and squirmed until she had difficulty holding him. Her cheeks, feeling damp and massive, began a tortured and rhythmic writhing.

Since when are "damp and massive" butt cheeks sexy? Not sure what I should expect from a guy who (on the previous page) describes breasts as "lurching mounds," but ... I mean, there's unsexy, and then there's The Opposite Of Sexy. Yikes.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]


Tulse said...

"Lurching mounds" sounds like a phrase from HP Lovecraft.

"The eldritch unnamable lurching mounds oozed suppuratingly through the cyclopean antediluvian temple..."

Peter Ball said...

Cyclopean squirmous mounds are filling my mind with their terrifying presence.

Anonymous said...

A bikini girl does the Frug while some guy in a car watches

DemetriosX said...

You know, I'm pretty sure that's Angie Dickinson.

Doug P said...

Looks more like Heather Locklear to me.