Monday, November 19, 2007

Why Book Sales are Like Crack Dens To Me, Part 4

Dondie's Revenge!

The continuing story of the books I bought at the University Book Sale for no good reason except that their covers amused me ...

Title: Darling
Author: Frederic Raphael
Cover artist: photo cover

Best things about this cover:

  • "I love me"
  • Why is the lettering on "Darling" veiny / viny?
  • I think this photo was cropped wrong

The back cover is SO much more interesting

Best things about this back cover:

  • "Frenzied sexcursion"!
  • Is that the same guy in both pictures? The sideburns say 'no.' Sexcursion!
  • "Face that has launched a thousand billboards" - "Billboards" = not quite as glamorous as "ships"
  • She looks disappointed in Sexcursion Part One: "Your ugliness disappoints me. You have made The Happiness Girl unhappy. Be gone."
  • Normally one does not find a large polka dot hair bow in a sexcursion. Disturbing.

Title: The Late Great Me
Author: Sandra Scoppettone
Cover artist: photo cover

Best things about this cover:

  • Her right hand is like that of a right tackle awaiting the hike
  • "I'm in love with vodka. I love it so much, I gave it my watch."
  • Her lap looks disturbingly wet.
  • "I have bangs like an early twentieth-century mustache. Or a ..."
  • Dondie says: "C-clamp!?"
  • Rex says: "Yes"
  • Dondie says: "Rex has gone to the bathroom...the controls are mine! all mine! muahahaha!"
  • Dondie says: "Books are funny."
  • Dondie says: "This one especially so, because...the cover is...dumb."
  • Dondie says: "I wish that girl would come over and share her vodka with me, after all, she is the girl next door..."
  • Dondie says: "I wish I could have thought of something better" (Too Late! Rex is back!)

Best things about this back cover:

  • "That vodka looks even better from back here, several feet further away."
  • "Come hither, vodka..."
  • "That vodka sure was good. I'm glad I got out these 45's to symbolize my descent into rock-n-roll madness."
  • "The biggest lush at Walt Whitman High" - awesome distinction
  • "President of a lot of leftover people" - Geri's mom has no facility with words. Here, she confuses people with dinner.
RP w/ Dondie


Nomi Lubin said...

Rex, hi. My mom found your blogs a few weeks ago the same way that thousands apparently do -- looking for help on a NY Times crossword clue. She showed them to me tonight and we ended up spending almost two hours pouring through this one. It started off with her wanting to show me "Hey lady, it's a gun, not a pet," and then we just couldn't stop. She was born in 1937 and so grew up with many of these covers.

Thank you for giving me another place online to spend countless hours that could be spent watching TV. Or eating.

Anonymous said...

"Come hither, vodka..." Nice one. So, maybe "ogle=come hither look" does work in the NYT puzzle, despite comments to the contrary. (I hope my conflating your blogs is not a no-no.)