Friday, September 11, 2015

Paperback 906: Amorous Dietitian / Mary Shomette Gooch (Novel Library U171)

Paperback 906: Novel Library U171 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Amorous Dietitian
Author: Mary Shomette Gooch
Cover artist: [I know his name but it's eluding me right now...] [Is it Robert Bonfils?]

Estimated value: $INFINITY (no copies listed at abebooks)

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:
  • "O god you smell like onions [smack smack smack] that's so hot [slurp]..."
  • Tony Curtis *is* ... The Dietitian *in* ... "Some Like It Hot (& Sour)!"
  • This is possibly the dumbest concept in the history of sex fiction. "We've done the whole doctors/nurses thing ... where can we go? ..." "Uh ... truck-driving?" "Really? Truck-driving? DO TRUCK DRIVERS WEAR WHITE LAB COATS, BOB? DO THEY!? How's anyone gonna get properly aroused without white lab coats, you idiot!"
  • Nice inner side-boob, which I think used to be called "cleavage."
  • What kind of antiseptic seraglio is this? Between our breath-smellers in the foreground and the butt-grabbers in the background, there doesn't appear to be much dietitianing happening up in here.

Best things about this back cover:
  • First sentence = instant LOL. You can "grin" words now?
  • Ladies and gentlemen, meet your newest dietitian: Clete.
  • Mmm, breasts in the raw. Pretty sure I saw that on a Brooklyn bar menu.
  • Jesus, does this woman have any body parts that aren't breasts?
  • "She was a woman and clean." One of the all-time great mic-drop lines. Biblical in its epicness and crypticness. All other writers can suck it. There's a new word sheriff in town.

Page 123~

Warren Grant turned, looked at her, then grinned and sauntered over. His eyes rested on her jutting breasts for a moment, then lifted to her face.

Mary Shomette Gooch graduated summa cum laude from the Grin & Boob School of Writingticians.


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cwf said...

This cannot be a real thing. I simply refuse to believe it. "Clete"?

Rex Parker said...

It's a perfectly dietitious name.

Jean said...

AMOROUS DIETICIAN? The title alone makes this worth infinity bucks. I'd frame it and put it on the wall!

Patrick Murtha said...

"Nurses, doctors, dietitians, everybody searches." Wow. That has got to be one of the greatest bits of cover copy ever. Lucky I wasn't enjoying a beverage or I would have spit-taked on the laptop.

JamiSings said...

I'm just shocked that the author actually described sagging breasts in an erotic novel. You don't even get that in regular novels about women who've had ten kids unless she's somehow the villain of the piece and trying to seduce the hero.

DemetriosX said...

This has to be one of the worst titles for this (or any other) genre that I have ever seen. I tried to come up with worse, but they all sounded better than this. It's like a placeholder and they forgot to come up with a real title.

highwayknees said...

You had me at Mary Shomette Gooch!