Paperback 1139: Impervious to Pain / David Malcolm (Venus Library V-1070-T)

Paperback 1139: Venus Library V-1070-T (PBO, 1972)

Title: Impervious to Pain

Author: David Malcolm

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 9/10

Value: $25-30

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• What's the opposite of "sans serif"?
• I can feel that bed cover, as well as those curtains, and it's not pleasant. I'm starting to itch.
• I cannot tell a lie, that is fantastic underwear. Not the boring nightgown—the orange paisleyesque panties. This cover is dead without them. Even the cat o' nine tails wouldn't be able to save it from the overwhelming motel beige.
• The subtitle of this book is "Case Studies in Sado-masochism." Improbably, it looks virtually unread.

Best things about this back cover: 

• So much text, much of it deeply troubling. For instance, "slave" and "salve" on the same back cover? My brain hates it. And "moist"!? Worse, "Moist, most," one right after the other. It's like this back cover copy is running its fingernails down the blackboard of my mind.
• This book runs somewhat outside my normal collecting time frame parameters (i.e. it's post-1970), and it is (therefore?) way more explicit, both inside and out, than most of the "sleaze" books I own. 
• "Quiver" twice!? I'm telling you: nails + chalkboard.
• "Her moist, most sensitive parts" and "his naked masculinity" are somehow both much sillier and much dirtier-sounding than their more straightforward, less euphemistic counterparts. 

Page 123~

Then she flipped her long almost air-tight skirt over her head, saying, "And if you have trouble breathing down there, I'll like that, too."

Never mind the seemingly impossible logistics of "flipping" an "air-tight skirt" over your head, this is a great line. A colorful detail. A fantastic bit of dialogue. I legitimately laughed out loud.

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Letterboxd]

Paperback 1138: Woman Trap / John Davidson (Uptown Books 705)

Paperback 1138: Uptown Books 705 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Woman Trap

Author: John Davidson (pseud. of Thomas Nuetzel)

Cover artist: photo cover

Condition: 6/10

Value: $8-10

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• "She was the kind of creature that convulsed into a sea of rippling heated waves..." Oh that kind of creature. I thought she might be one of those creatures that hibernates, or maybe comes crawling out of my basement every once in a while. Thanks for clarifying.
• When my main thought about a sleaze paperback cover is, "hey, that's a pretty nice quilt," then I'd say it's lacking ... something.
• "OK, we're gonna cover you with this tarp and then you just ... do weird things with your hand ... OK, now try to look happy ... no, not hungry, happy ... eh, good enough"

Best things about this back cover: 

• All the women *I*'ve had??? What do you know? Is this some kind of Candid Camera / This is Your Life deal? If so, pass.
• The use of the second person here ("you") is so weird, not least because it drops out halfway through the blurb. ("'Waiting for his touch'?? Whose touch? Who the hell is this guy?")
• I won't bore you by recounting the grammatical atrocities in this blurb. I'll just say that somehow the most dispiriting of these, to me, is "laying there" (it's lying!!! lying lying lying!)

Page 123~

    Without knowing that he had done it, Carlton found himself walking up the pathway toward the house which Wanda Stevens was staying in. He didn't want to see her, really, but his feet had moved in the direction and he found himself standing before the door, almost afraid to open it.

    Then sighing, deeply, he reaching [sic!] out his hand and rang the bell.

Then sighing, deeply, I wondering how anything so poorly proofread ever made it to print. Also, why is he "almost afraid to open" the door when in fact, he can't open it, as it's clearly not his house. If it were, he wouldn't need to ring the bell in the very next sentence. He's not afraid to open the door—he's afraid to ring the bell. Just say that. Why Can't You Just Say That!?!?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Letterboxd]

Paperback 1137: Tormented Bride / Myron Kosloff (First Niter 218)

Paperback 1137: First Niter FN 218 (PBO, 1965)

Title: Tormented Bride

Author: Myron Kosloff

Cover artist: [Gene Bilbrew]

Condition: 9/10

Value: $100

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• OK, we got us a good one here.
• I adore the middle-aged middle school teacher whose spectacles are about to pop off her face. She's so excited about this tight-skirted, belted-coated spectacle of a woman that she's grabbing Betty's arm to make sure she sees. Betty has definitely seen.
• Are the ladies at the bar? Behind the bar? The stools are on this side, but they're on the other side. And the bartender appears to be on the same side they are. At least I think dough-faced hyena man is the bartender. He's got epaulets, which says "uniform," which says "maybe he works here." Anyway, the layout of this bar is all kinds of off.
• Actually, the closer you look, the more things are bizarrely, creepily off. What is our strutting lady doing with her left foot. It's landing at a right angle to her direction, which basically ensures that ankle breakage awaits her in the near future. And those heels. Jeeeeezus. No human could walk in those. She's fully on tip toe and the heel is still on the floor.
• Then there's the inexplicable side of the booth (?!), which creates a huge arced swath of white on this cover—a shit-ton of negative space that adds nothing to the composition and bears no resemblance to anything you'd find in reality. Speaking of "you'd never find it in reality," that blue-faced dude in the bottom-left. That's a lot of face for a seemingly marginal dude. Definitely creeps up the joint even further.
• I think the strutting lady and the bartender have just come from the first and possibly last ever meeting of the "World's Smallest Necktie" club. He's laughing because his necktie was narrower by 3mm. Better luck next time, Tormented Bride!

Best things about this back cover: 

• Oh great, as if things weren't disturbing enough, we're just leading with RAPE
• Thank you, Lord, for granting unto us the phrase "whirlpool of perversia." Your magnanimity is truly overwhelming.
• "Excuse me, can you tell me which way to perversia? ... Just turn left at the light? Great. And do you know if they have a whirlpool there? ... Yes? Excellent." 
• Tracy Gilbert, leather-clad dominatrix. Leather! Lesbians! BDSM! Minuscule neckwear! Is there any kink this book doesn't have?? 
• Why would you try to "escape" the "bonds of lesbianism" with "boyish Olive Thurston"? Who gave you that advice?
• And it all ends in "pie" because of course it does.
• "Twilight World!" My favorite queer codeword is back with a leather-clad vengeance!

Page 123~

    "I—do you want me to do something?"

    He caught his breath. "Like what?"

    She hesitated. Then: "You know. Relieve you."

!?

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Letterboxd]

Paperback 1136: Angelina / Irving Lazar (Falcon Books FB-1006)

Paperback 1136: Falcon Books FB-1006 (PBO, 1964)

Title: Angelina

Author: Irving Lazar    

Cover artist: Photo cover

Condition: 9.5/10

Value: $ absolutely no idea

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• Aubrey Plaza, in a role that will embarrass you!
• Photographer: "OK, Jack, grab her shoulder ... now hide your face behind her head, but make sure we get a real nice shot of your ear ... that's it."
• Y'all there is so much wrong / off / weird about this book. To wit:
•     "Irving Lazar"!?!?! Probably a pen name, but a very weird pen name to have, considering it's also the name of a very very famous talent agent, Irving "Swifty" Lazar (1907-93). There is no mention of any books by Irving Lazar on his wikipedia page except for his autobiography.
•     This books looks brand new. 61 years old and it looks like it was just pulled off the shelf. No reading crease whatsoever. So fresh that it feels fake. Speaking of which...
•     What the hell is Falcon Books?!? Does anyone else own a book put out by this imprint? There's an earlier Falcon Books imprint (also sleaze, but digest size, and from the early '50s), but what about this more modern, '60s sleaze imprint? I ask because...
•     The publication page of this books reads: "An original Nite-Time Book." "Copyright 1964 by Nite-Time Books." Now Nite-Time Books is a recognizable sleaze publisher (I own one: Canary's Combo, also 1964). But why would it say Falcon Books on the outside (specifically, on the spine), when it is (as its publication page states) a Nite-Time Book?? There needs to be a central clearinghouse for all vintage paperback information! Somewhere where I can look up literally any book and bam, there's all the pub info, the author / photographer credits, the crazy back stories, etc. Make it so, lord (don't make me make it myself!)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Another ear! Is there a male ear fetish thing I don't know about DON'T ANSWER
• Oh, god, another one of these incoherent jobs. A gasp came from deep in my throat when I tried to read that first sentence.
• "Unzippering?" Did he remove the entire zipper mechanism from his pants? Seems extreme.
• "Without a word, her eyes still closed Ricky rolled her blue silk panties down her long legs..." Commas! Please, someone, send commas!
• The way I laughed at "flanks"! LOL. "Easy, there, girl ... good horse."
• "Now, George Please ... now." I would like to meet this George Please. And tell him to run.

Page 123~ (actually p. 23; p. 123 was impossibly boring)

Angelina felt Linda's slim fingered hand on her still wet breasts, one of Linda's thin legs lay between Angelina's fleshier thighs. Solwly (sic!!!) Linda's hands began to caress the breasts, her caresses getting firmer and firmer as both their passions mounted, until finally Linda's hands were moving with a kneading intensity.

Fingered hands and still breasts. She sounds ideal. Yes, give me a girl with a full complement of fingers and breasts that don't move, that's the girl for me! 

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Letterboxd]

Paperback 1135: The Twilight Lust / Val Arden (Royal Line 105)

Paperback 1135: Royal Line 105 (PBO, 1965)

Title: The Twilight Lust

Author: Val Arden

Cover artist: [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $25

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• "Adults Only may see my nipples. Yes, I'm serious, those are the rules. I'm crossing my arms defiantly, so you know that I am serious."
• I want one of you to dress as This Lady for Halloween, insane wig, chainmail underwear, "Adults Only" sign and all. Dying decorative houseplant optional.
• "Twilight" is code for gay/lesbian/queer. Always. Such a great code word. My favorite cover copy word, right up there with "frank" (as euphemism for "dirty")
• There should be more condition ratings for old paperbacks than just Good, Very Good, Fine, etc. There needs to be a word that gets to the specific quality of a book like this, which is unread, square, perfect, but also aged to hell and scuffed and notched by a saw at the top, maybe sun damaged. It's like "Excellent/Poor"

Best things about this back cover: 

• Wow. Wow. . . yeah, wow.
• Who can forget the first stirrings of "girhood?" Not me, that's for sure.
• "Satisfaction in treir seeking." "Treir seeking" was a lesbian spiritual/sexual practice. No one remembers what it was anymore. This book is the only record of its existence. Did they ever find the treir they were seeking? You'll have to get your own copy to find out. 
• It's like someone found a "rejected cover copy" text-file dump and just filed it as final copy. Like, on a dare. "Surely an editor will clean this up." And yet here we are. 
• Somehow the most disturbing thing to me about this back cover is how horribly off-center the copy is. That, and the grime. Oh, and the sad, misaligned final word. Poor "body."

Page 123~

She saw the irritation darkening his face and knew his pride had risen to overrun them. He could not let himself be concerned. He had never come to her with questions. Only with orders. And, certainly, he wasn't about to start now. Especially not now. Finish.

That first sentence starts out great ("She saw the irritation darkening his face") and then just falls off a cliff and never stops falling. This paragraph is like "Notes Toward a Paragraph." I can't stop laughing at "Finish." It's like an annotation or an editor's note that was never supposed to make it to print. Like, "Remember to come back and finish this paragraph because dear lord it is a mess."

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on BlueSky and Letterboxd]

Paperback 1134: Call Boy / Tony Calvin (Ember Books EB 907)

Paperback 1134: Ember Books EB 907 (PBO, 1963)

Title: Call Boy

Author: Tony Calvin (pseud. of Thomas P. Ramirez)

Cover artist: Uncredited

Condition: 9.5/10

Value: $40

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• "Hi, I know you only called for a single boy, but I brought back-up, just in case. We don't have nipples, I hope that's OK. What we lack in nipples, we make up for in sheer Wonder-Twin enthusiasm, I promise!"
• The cover copy wants me to think this is all very tawdry, but look at how happy they look. It almost seems wholesome, honestly.
• I wish I could properly explain how immaculate this book is. Obviously unread, bright as the sun, with only some superficial edgewear between it and a perfect 10 condition rating.
• Love her modesty hair, and modesty cash, but I wouldn't look too hard at the cash if I were you. It's like some early version of A.I. made it. Wonky and wrong in every way. Looks like it was issued by the country of "Reptilia"

Best things about this back cover: 

• Ember Books ... is yet another imprint in what is clearly a sleaze empire of the '60s. Nightstand Books, Ember Library, Companion Books, Sundown Reader, and on and on, there's a uniformity to the size and color scheme and artwork and ludicrousness, but it's this back cover copy that really feels the same across imprints—again, it's as if some early version of A.I. was asked to write cover copy for a '60s sleaze paperback and it just churned out a bunch of words that individually feel right ("strange," "twisted," "secret," "stud-mistress," "lust," "flesh," "bondage," "shame," "sin," etc.), but together add up to empty (and particularly unsexy) nonsense.
• I don't see anything like "shame" or "degradation" on the front cover. What I see is a mostly naked sleepover party. With Monopoly money.
• The wages of sin!? The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Whereas the Wages of Fear is a classic 1953 thriller by the great French director Henri-Georges Clouzot, which was the basis for William Friedkin's fantastic Sorcerer (1977).

Page 123~

His surprise, as he opened the door to find the portly, medium-tall man standing there, left him totally speechless for at least thirty seconds. The doorknob seemingly froze in his fingers. This must be some kind of a joke. A man? Certainly Odile doesn't expect me to ... There's a damn limit, after all.

First: is there a limit, Stark Campion? Is there? I guess we'll see. 

Second: This paragraph works a lot better if you think of "the doorknob" as, well, a metaphor

~RP

P.S. I had to turn comments moderation on because of creeps. Please feel free to comment (I love hearing from people who love these books the way I do), but just know that publication of your comment will be delayed for a bit. And if your comments are Trumpist or homophobic or in any way hateful, they're never getting through. Please find another blog to pollute. Thank you!

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and BlueSky]

Paperback 1133: Seduction Campaign / Bruce Shelly (Merit Books 681)

Paperback 1133: Merit Books 681 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Seduction Campaign

Author: Bruce Shelly

Cover artist: photo (?)

Condition: 8/10    

Value: $40

[newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover: 

• Help me, Seduction Campaign girl! Your nymphomania is my only hope! (this is a Star Wars reference)
• For a really effective seduction, try taking the Chinese lantern or birdhouse or whatever that is away from your face
• Not a fan of photo covers, esp. when the photos seem to have been weirdly artificially colored (her Ronald McDonald hair color is implausible). But I actually really love her sassy, casual get-up. I guess the unbuttoned top button of the pants is supposed to be part of the seduction campaign? I just assume she ate a little too much at breakfast. 
• I like to think that she's in a western, and signaling to some gunslinger in the road, "Four..." Four what, I don't know. Maybe pancakes she had at breakfast?

Best things about this back cover: 

• As seduction campaigns go, this one seems pretty low-budget. SEDUCTION CAMPAIGN feels less like cover copy and more like a placeholder. It's like "future site of Seduction Campaign" or "Seduction Campaign, Coming 1963"
• "You ever think about anything else besides bed?" "Well, sure. There's, uh, seduction. Oh, and campaigning. Ronald McDonald. Bralessness. Lots of things."
• "Like to see?" is a weird line. "Wanna see?" tracks, but "Like to see?" sounds like she's threatening to put his eyes out. "Like to see? Then you better stop bugging me pal. Be a shame if anything happened to them peepers of yours."

Page 123~

    "Here's some pants, Davey." It was Bunny. All dressed and standing demurely in the living room. "Nice of you to call on us, Mrs. Kelly. It was time for us to get up anyway."

    Bunny was back in character. She flounced around Janet and handed me my slacks. "Don't mind us, Davey," she said. 

    "Oh, no!" said Janet. "Don't mind us at all!" She stalked into the living room and I followed just as soon as I was trousered.

This is basically an episode of “Three's Company.” Two girls and a guy. A landlady (probably). I mean, there's even a character named "Janet." 🎶"Come and knock on our door / Nymphomania reigns / Where the flouncing is hers and hers and his, / It's the Seduction Campaign!"🎶

~RP

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and BlueSky]