Title: The Oddballs
Author: Stacey Clubb
Cover artist: Uncredited
Yours for: Not For Sale—part of the Doug Peterson Collection
Best things about this cover:
- "I don't think they're so odd," he said, self-consciously.
- So many questions. Such as, where has her right arm got to? Or, why their bed is a parallelogram?
- Remember the fad of wearing two differently colored stockings!? Me either.
- "You awake? … tickle tickle! … alright then, I'm just going to remove your head with my jaws now, OK? Just relax."
- "The only practical sex was unnatural sex!" — Having trouble understanding the use of the word "practical" here. "Well, see, I would just put my penis in your vagina, but … it's really not practical for me ... right now … at this juncture … you know? So, let's just bring in the elephant and the mustard and see how it goes, mkay? It's just easier that way."
Best things about this back cover:
- Shadowy = Lesbiany. In case you're unfamiliar with paperback code.
- INA, ha ha! Calling all crossword constructors, we got a live one!
- I want a business card that reads "Encourager of odd rites and practices."
The sting of his blow had not penetrated.
Nope, sorry, that was just the first thing I opened to. Hang on … OK, here we go:
"Bernice," he called out.
But the bikini-clad goddess who appeared casually at the top of the mezzanine stairs in response to his blithe summons was not, of course, Bernice.
If ever there was a name custom-made for softcore porn, that name is Blithe Summons.
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]