Title: Big Heat
Author: No author credit? Seriously? Not even on the title page or anywhere?
Cover artist: too sad to think about
Yours for: Not for Sale [Part of the Doug Peterson Collection]
Best things about this cover:
- Several things. First: peach?
- Second: the most offensive thing about this cover—his shirt. Actually, probably all of him, but especially his shirt.
- I am enjoying her stockings.
- I like (seriously, like) how they start her off at "Twice."
Best things about this back cover:
- BIG HEAT! Comin' atcha! 3 times!
- In what universe is the phrase "giant breasts falling free of her halter" erotic or titillating? It makes me want to shout "Run!" to all the endangered villagers.
- Hmm. If you're looking to find a man who could release you from the tortured lust of being a lesbian, I'm not sure reckless affairs with other women is the way to go about it. "I keep having reckless affairs with other women, but so far, no luck on the man front. What am I doing wrong!?"
- Ah, "unnatural" and "twisted," my favorite code words. How you guys doin'? Good to see you again.
"Christ, what's the matter with me?" he said. "Blowing my stack over some dumb kid in hick fishing camp!"Wow. Did not see those last three words coming.
Here's some bonus footage, which I tweeted last night—from the preview page inside the front cover:
Her breasts were enormous bombs of powdered white flesh, tipped with crimson tidbits the size of plums.The Crimson Tidbits were also a moderately successful doo-wop group from the late-50s.
P.S. this book appears to be ... short stories. But with no table of contents and no author credit and no apparent dignity, who's to say?
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]