Title: Letter of Marque
Author: Andrew Hepburn
Cover artist: uncredited
Yours for: $7
Best things about this cover:
- "My these seas are certainly heaving ..."
- Jebus, look how nicely she has gift-wrapped those things for us. They're Tremendous!
- OMG is she dead? Her neck! Between the garrote and the cover crease, terrible things appear to be happening to her head. Look at her glassy eyes. Is she tied to the mast of the world's gayest ship? Is she an ethereal sea goddess emanating from the ships below? I think I'll just stare at her breasts some more and try not to think about it too much.
- "Replete with action ..." - well, at least we know the guy at the Herald-Tribune did well on his SATs.
Best things about this back cover:
- "Action and more action is Author Hepburn's motto ..." - o man that's sad. I don't know what's sadder - that he has a motto at all, or that it's so lame.
- Is it wrong that I think his girlfriend's name looks vaguely like "Madeleine de Vagina?"
- "Stockton is a swashbuckling hero who's not afraid to ... cut through red tape!?" OK, that was totally *not* in your motto, dude. Boooring. Hepburn needs to get some lessons from Rafael Sabatini, and "Capt. Stockton," if that is his real name, needs to call Errol Flynn for some pointers.
She was stiff and weatherly, and the broad track of her wake gave evidence of her effortless pace, as she rose over the small seas with no check to her speed.
I ... think that was the sex scene.