Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Paperback 95: Come Be My O.R.G.Y. / Ted Mark (Berkley S1564)

Paperback 95: Berkley Medallion S1564 (PBO, 1968)

Title: Come Be My O.R.G.Y.
Author: Ted Mark
Cover artist: Sidney Booblover (I mean, "uncredited")

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:

  • Possibly the silliest title name in my entire collection.
  • Q: How can a cover featuring so much breast flesh be so ugly? (A: urine-hued aura)
  • I like to imagine that all these people on the cover are actually the same person, and we are seeing all of his/her different incarnations. Together, the four of them could all be each other's O.R.G.Y.
  • If you have not heard of "The Man from O.R.G.Y." before, then I defy you to figure out what it stands for. (I'll reveal the answer in the near future) [A: Organization for the Rational Guidance of Youth]
  • Smirky McDickerson there in the front is inspiring me to create a new Post Label: Douchebag Detectives. I know of at least one other candidate ... with thousands of books awaiting write-ups, I am confident there are more.
  • "Steve Victor! ... anyone? No?"
  • I can only hope that he is putting that shirt on.

Best things about this back cover:

  • "Seriously, come be my O.R.G.Y."
  • This guy clearly smells of gin, cigarettes, and self-loathing.
  • "That delectable Tibetan" - Is her name really some mock-Asian version of "teeny bopper!?!?" Is it wrong that I hope "Steve" dies at the end (or, even better, the beginning) of this book?

PAGE 123 - is not nearly as good as PAGE 81~

She scrambled over my body until we were juxtaposed and her long blonde hair trailed over my thighs. That old Roman dinner gong had rung [ed.: ...?]. The feast of her nether chamber was spread before me and I raised up to sample its feverish honey. She responded by engulfing my edible root and I became dizzy with the delights provided by her womb at the top.

After reading that, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to eat a root again. The jury's still out on honey ...

~RP


14 comments:

direstraits said...

Do you think Steve Victor has ever been out behind the barn?

Little Lj said...

"Being a man from O.R.G.Y. is back-breaking work all right, all right."

All right, all right, already!!

haha!

Michael5000 said...

I marvel at the nearly miraculous nipple concealment wrought by fabric and hair here all right, all right.

(you have to conceal nipples, the reasoning goes, to avoid ringing that old Roman dinner gong.)

Sandy said...

There's really a time machine in this book? It's sci fi?! Is "time machine" some code I'm just not aware of?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like Ted Marks is trying to imitate the style of Fannie Hill

thriftbookbuyer said...

unsexiest sex writing ever. that excerpt was even more upsetting than the douchebag on the cover!

Zach M. said...

Hahahaha, I just noticed "Sydney Booblover"

Anonymous said...

Sydney Booblover aka Michael Booblay.

GFS3 said...

He does look like he's battling with self-loathing. What's his problem? He should be grinning like a drunken sailer. Some bastards don't know how good they have it.

fairyhedgehog said...

Feverish honey? Edible root? Ye gods!

This is so awful I've had to link to it on my blog (post scheduled for 25th May).

Bill from NJ said...

Are you aware this guy has an impressive body of work under his real name Theodore Mark Gofffried? He has written any number of books on biographical subjects for teenagers and young adults. He also has written extensively on the Holocaust for general audiences. He really is about the rational guidance of youth.

He wrote the ORGY series - and several other like-minded series - as a broad satire on the James Bond books that were popular at the time and on spy novels in general. He wrote these books when the was about 40 and was spoofing in the style of soft-core porn that was popular in the 50s.

You can read about him Here and the Dr Nyet article here for a look at a truly remarkable man.

Anonymous said...

Hi , Nice books.
Bill from nj.
Thanks for the info. I collected these books and have most of them. They are new and never read from the 1960's. I had reading copies later on. Well done. The jerks in 9th grade were reading the man from O.R.G.Y. When I read those books It made me wonder if those kids understood what they were reading.
Vince

Schatzi said...

HOLY SHIT.

Do you realize that Anne Rice totally ripped off that excerpt from page 81 in Beauty's Punishment? Like, translated through a thesaurus word-for-word?

(Do not ask how/why I know that.)

Anonymous said...

My grandfather wrote this book! There's a whole series of them. He had a couple best sellers and there was even a movie version of one his books at some point.