Paperback 1050: Bogus Lover / Hy Silver (Newsstand Library U136)

Paperback 1050: Newsstand Library U136 (PBO, 1960)

Title: Bogus Lover
Author: Hy (ho?) Silver
Cover artist: Robert Bonfils

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $15

Best things about this cover:

• I love her girl-about-town, devil-may care look. I'm not sure who's throwing bras and mannequin heads at her, but she doesn't seem fazed.
• That blue is exquisite.
• They've certainly, uh, made sure to emphasize her torso profile. The extensive boob shadow is kinda overkill. It's like, yeah, we see. They're lovely.
• The valentine on the mannequin's face is so freaky. What is even happening here!?

Best things about this back cover:

• Argh, too much text!
• I'm pretty sure that "crunched" is the wrong word for what casting couches do when you put your lustful weight on them, but admittedly this isn't really my bailiwick. Maybe someone got sloppy with corn chips?
• "Hey boss, how many 'm's in Peggy's "'Mmmmmmmm?'" "That depends. Is she lustful?" "Oh, yes, sir. Very." "Then ... Eight!" "But, sir, that's ... that's two more than we've ever done. Are you su—" "I'M TRYIN' TO SELL BOOKS HERE, MAN, JUST DO IT!" (/scene)
• Wait. Peggy? Then who's Wanda? We lost gentle Wanda somewhere between paragraphs two and three. Oh, the boss is not gonna be happy about this...

Page 123~

"I guess we're both stupid," he said as he started the engine.

Real talk.

~RP

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Paperbacks 1047, 1048, and 1049: A Doc Savage trio (Bantam, 1969 (2) and 1976 (1))

Paperbacks 1047-49: Doc Savage 35, 38, and 83 (1969, 1969, 1976)

Titles: The Squeaking Goblin, Red Snow, The Red Terrors
Author: Kenneth Robeson (Lester Dent, Lester Dent, Harold A. Davis)
Cover artists: James Bama, James Bama, Boris Vallejo

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $20 for the lot

[Gift to the collection from a Western NY Reader]

Best things about this cover:

• "It ain't me what's squeakin', it's me musket!" squeaked Goblin Davy Crockett

Best thing about this cover:

• It's like if Hawkman and Hulk had a pin-headed monster baby

Best thing about this cover:

• Doc Savage tried to start his life over as a crossing guard at Mystical Orb High School for Avian Cosplay, but it didn't take

Page 123~

One of the hired men pointed. "Red was a-meanderin' over thot way, last I seed a' him."

These books are all of astonishingly uniform length (~130pp.) and not at all badly written (at least on a basic grammatical level). They were originally published in the Doc Savage pulp magazine (in the '30s) and then were reprinted by Bantam roughly 30-40 years later, which puts them just before and toward the tail end of / just after the main time frame of my paperback collection (1939-69). Lester Dent (how wrote a ton of the "Kenneth Robeson" Doc Savage stories) was an accomplished crime fiction writer from the heydey of hardboild crime fiction. I covered one of his books back at Paperback 741.

Anyway, thanks to the lovely human who sent me these books in the mail today—individually wrapped! So thoughtful.

~RP

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Paperback 1046: The Sit-In / George B. Anderson (Ace 76835)

Paperback 1046: Ace 76835 (PBO, 1970)

Title: The Sit-In
Author: George B. Anderson
Cover artist: George Gross

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: $20-25 (counterculture, baby!)

[from giant box of books I got in the mail from "Special Sauce" ... I'll be rolling these out as fast as I reasonably can]

Best things about this cover:

• Answering the question: What if Dirty Harry had been a T.A. for Marxist Cultural Theory?
• Two words. One, mustard. Two, cardigan. KILLER outfit!
• A narc wrote this
• This was published just after Kent State. So you'd know who the real bad guys were. Cut your hair, Comrade Cardigan!

Best things about this back cover:

• LOL grad student. Called it!
• "Don't trust anyone over 30 ... or, you know Happiness in general, man"
• Wow, this is a right-wing fever dream. "He's coming for you and your suburban children, aged 2 and 4, named John and Jennifer, probably!"

Page 123~

He remembered going duck-hunting, as a kid, in the late fall, but he wouldn't even handle a shotgun since his return from Viet.

Was that a common way to refer to Vietnam? Just shortened like that? First I've seen that. Also, predictably, the family-man is the *real* man, the real hero, because he'd actually *been* to war, as opposed to Murdery McBeardo, who is a nerd.

~RP

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Paperback 1045: Abnormal Lover / Clark Connor (Merit Book 507)

Paperback 1045: Merit Book 507 (2nd ptg, 1961)

Title: Abnormal Lover
Author: Clark Connor
Cover artist: "Sloane" (uncredited)

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $20-25

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• Jesus H, what kind of corset injury did she suffer as a young woman!?
• I love how she's like, "Yeah, they're stretch marks, so what!? I don't see you looking away!"
• I'm all for that vest-only look, but the pants seem a little ... bunchy.
• O god, her hand! Was that part of the corset accident!? I'm just glad she overcame adversity and went on to live her truth.
• "Bru-" is killing me. KILLING ME. How are you this bad at layout!?
• I assume her left pinky is the "point of perversion" in question.

Best things about this back cover:

• Better in black and white
• And the winner for Worst Compound Adjective in a Back Cover Blurb goes to ...
• I love how proud the artist ("Sloane!") was of this painting. "Y'all aren't cropping out my signature, dammit. I WILL LIVE THRU THE AGES!"

Page 123~

"I can't, Raymond. I don't have time to see Art Meric. I have to leave on a trip. A very important trip, Raymond!"
A long silence.
"What's wrong, Raymond? Raymond! Raymond!"

"I"m not going to be IGNORED, Raymond..."

Also

🎶"Everywhere around the world / They come to see Art Meric-a"🎶

~RP

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Paperback 1044: Natures Gifts / Norma Hughes (After Hours 160)

Paperback 1044: After Hours AH160 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Natures Gifts
Author: Norma Hughes
Cover artist: [Bill Alexander again?]

Condition: 8/10
Estimated value: $25

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
Best things about this cover:

• When yoga class gets a little too "authentic"...
• Sally and Jenny hovered uncomfortably between ab-hunger and diaper-revulsion
• Wait, those aren't abs. They aren't in the right place ... what are those??!?!
• "And that, ladies, is how you throw a slider"
• OK, I'll just say what we're all thinking: where's the fucking apostrophe?

Best things about this back cover:

Back page designer: "I have this idea for a kind of harem motif, where a seraglio doorway provides..."

Publisher: "Sorry, Bill, we're going with a bathroom tile. Thanks for these storyboards, tho."

Page 123~

That evennig he mailed them out to Paris to his contact.

Needless to say, [sic]

~RP

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Paperback 1043: Torrid Tramps / George H. Smith (Novel Book 6029)

Paperback 1043: Novel Book 6029 (PBO, 1962)

Title: Torrid Tramps
Author: George H. Smith
Cover artist: photo cover ("posed by professional model"!)

Condition: 7/10 (great, but mild smashing mid-spine)
Estimated value: $20

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]
Best things about this cover:

• The words promise a lot, but these photos do Not deliver. They all look like people who went to a beach party and got food poisoning, esp. that sweaty 50-year-old at the bottom left. "No ... no sudden movements, sweetheart. Be a doll and bring me an icepack ..."
• Honestly this should be called Tepid Tramps, nothing remotely torrid is going on here
• Ah, I see they were all created by sadists. That makes sense—I feel pretty abused by this whole cover
• Could not figure out what was going on with center guy's head and honestly though he had some kind of bear head on, like a team mascot, or some kind of half-clad Furry
• George H. Smith: "Could you make my name ... like, small?" Editors: "OK, how's this?" Smith: "............... smaller"

Best things about this back cover: 

• "BY POPULAR DEMAND!" LOL I doubt that
• "Typewriter" I love this man. My kingdom for George H. Smith's typewriter!
• That is one hell of a catalogue. I love the specificity of "ten days." How big was the print run? Like, 12 copies?
• Oh man sweaty middle-aged dude is bigger here. Bigger is worse.

Page 123~ (I want to copy this whole page for you, it's so "good")

Then, they came together like rutting bitch and dog, like fumbling drake and duck ... like nipping stallion and nervous, screaming mare.

... like sullen Frog and anxious, sweating Toad

OK, I lied, that was the end of p. 122! Here's the opening of 123:

They made their love in the deep straw, taking their chances with the Diamond Back Rattlers...

"Hey, what're you guys doin' over there?" "Leave us alone! We'll make our love, you make yours! No copying"

~RP

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Paperback 1042: Bartered Mates / Thomas K. Makagon (Unique Books 144)

Paperback 1042: Unique Books 144 (PBO, 1967)

Title: Bartered Mates
Author: Thomas K. Makagon
Cover artist: that guy ... I always forget his name ... one of you will tell me (Bill Alexander)

Condition: 7/10
Estimated value: a lot

[Newest addition to the Doug Peterson Collection]

Best things about this cover:

• I keep reading "Battered Meats"
• Get it on! Bang a gong! Makagon!
• The pointing lady is the best. We don't even get to see her face. Just her amazing get-up and pointing arm. "J'accuse!" "Koochy koochy koo!" "Where Are This Man's Damned Nipples!?"
• I really dig The Couch Of Impossible Boobs
• If you look at his left foot too long you will be cursed. I have warned you.
• This book is bizarrely rare. I searched ["bartered mates" makagon] and got TWO HITS TOTAL

Best things about this back cover:

• I've seen worse cover copy, but not much worse. I do like the manic use of "—" there in the first paragraph. "Is it a happening, a trend, or a switch ... ? ... fuck it, let's just go with all of the above!"
• Why is there a comma after "delectable" in paragraph 2!?! Truly, I am bothered far more by punctuation minutiae than by the preposterous cheesiness of it all.
• OK the first sentence of paragraph 2 is utterly ungrammatical (although LOL at "brain child" quote unquote)
• Shouldn't it be "a between-pictures diversion" OK I'll stop now.
• "... the private threats of enjoyed and accepted female aggression" like, try to wrap your head around that. If it's "accepted" how is it a "threat," and to what? Dudes like being whipped by ladies. That's pretty much the end of the story.
• "MASTERLY POWERS OF FEMALE DOMINATION" was what was written on Jessica Fletcher's business card (or should've been)

Page 123~

Don finished his drink and set it on the dresser, then walked over to the edge of the bed he reached down to the back of her thighs, gently separated them and commenced to kiss the small of her back. His tongue went to her pink lined crease. Slowly he flicked it downward until he had gone as far as he  could go, then pushing her thighs upward, he held her almost on her head. He kept moving downward gradually, pushing her upward. When he found the desired spot, Roxana moaned through her fallen hair. He then shoved her backwards until she was on her back in an opposite direction. Now, he could feel her mouth covering him as they clasped each other's passionate bodies tightly.

Ok so this is terrible in so many ways but I'm stuck back on "pink lined crease" (sic). Is her lined crease pink, or is her crease pink-lined? And which crease are we talking about? Further, where did his tongue go? Where did her thighs go? Downward? Upward? "An opposite direction"? It looks like they end up in 69 at the end, but I feel like maybe that was just a lucky accident?

~RP

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