Paperback 1084: Almost April / Zoa Sherburne (Scholastic Book Services T -254)

 Paperback 1084: SBS T-254 (1st ptg, 1966)

Title: Almost April

Author: Zoa Sherburne

Cover artist: David Jonas

Condition: 7/10

Value: $8

[Riverow Books, Owego, NY, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• After his girlfriend April died in a tragic sea serpent attack, Steve tried to make every girl he dated into a new April. With this latest one (Karen, aka April 4.0) he'd gotten close, but the chin ... the chin was wrong. He knew it, Karen knew it, the whole town knew it. Could Steve be content with ... Almost April?!
• He's pretty casual for a guy who still has the blood of the drifter he killed splattered all over him.
• She could use a little sun, but her outfit is impeccable. Her: windswept elegance. Him: Tony Perkins' stand-in.

Best things about this back cover: 

• Ooh, wraparound cover. Always exciting (to me), although that washed-up branch is pretty badly rendered. It looks like it's sprouting tentacles—which would, admittedly, instantly make this book 10x cooler. But they're insufficiently tentacley to create terror and so end up just looking stupid. The rest of the landscape looks fantastic.
• "Poor Dad" is about the last thing I expected to follow the sentence "Karen threw herself on the bed."
• "How can she make him understand about Nels?" How can you make *me* understand about Nels? Specifically, his name. Talk me through that.

Page 123~

Karen felt a little sick, reading the letter. She knew how her grandmother loathed television and how she clung to her old-fashioned monstrosity of a house. 

When Karen thought of how dreary her life would be there, with no "Gilligan's Island" and no "Hogan's Heroes" to keep her company, she panicked and ran to the beach to throw herself into the sea. Would Steve save her!? Or just watch like the jerk he obviously is?

~RP

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Paperback 1083: Death Wears a Green Hat / Will Creed (Five Star Mystery 42)

 Paperback 1083: Five Star Mystery 42 (PBO, 1946)

Title: Death Wears a Green Hat

Author: Will Creed

Cover artist: [Uncredited]

Condition: 7/10

Value: $20-25

[Autumn Leaves Bookstore, Ithaca, NY, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio—he was a ring-a-ding cat! Always quick with a smile. A little on the thin side...
• Another digest-sized paperback, another publisher I've never heard of. New-to-me publishers always hold huge appeal.
• There's a line in Elvis Costello's "Tokyo Storm Warning" that goes "Death wears a big hat / 'Cause he's a big bloke"; the ability to speak pulp fluently is something I've always admired in the guy.
• Skeletons are funny—scary (see the end of Psycho, for instance) but put a hat on one (or a scarf, or a feather boa), and instant silliness
• The background pattern here has me hungry for waffles (an everyday feeling, just a little moreso)

Best things about this back cover: 

• Y'all, this guy cannot write. Or the guy at the publishing house who does the back cover copy cannot write. Somebody cannot write. This prose is punishing. You have to ride that opening prepositional phrase forEver before you have any idea of what that sentence is doing grammatically. And the idea of Hal "watching" with "silent terror" as "suspicions" "reach out for him, closer and closer"... I mean, zombies reaching out for you, sure, I get it, but "suspicions"? 
• "Closer and closer they came, reaching out for him..." "OMG what's coming closer, what's reaching out for him!?" "Uh ... suspicions." "...Oh, come on!" "No, wait, where are you going? ...  they're really gruesome suspicions, I swear—big teeth and green hats and everything. Aw, come back and let me finish my terrifying story!"
• "Nerve-shredding enjoyment!" Because you're bored with mere "face-smashing whimsy!" and want something new in your keen-edged horror!

Page 123~

Dear Hal, I know that of all the people that knew Adrian, you must have known him best. He wasn't always admirable, but no man needs to die the way Adrian died, just because he cannot always live the way his heart means to act. I must talk to you. I walked over to talk to you after I had been to Inspector Day's tonight, and, well, you weren't there. I was lost, for I had to talk. In my mind has been growing for some time the most frightful suspicion. But we're old friends and I must see you. And the more I think of it, and think of the person involved under the circumstances in which Adrian died, I become more and more certain of my guess. I have to see you, Hal; we must talk this out together. No matter what time you get this, phone me at once. I'll be waiting for your call. I cannot imagine where you have gone at this time of night. Valerie.

Well thank god this isn't an epistolary novel because I'm not sure I couldn't taken one more sentence. I'd rather read all of Clarissa than one more of Valerie's "I must talk to you I walked over to talk to you I had to talk we must talk this out where are you you seem to be in a different place from where I am currently looking" ramble-fests.

~RP

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Paperback 1082: Murder is My Racket / Robert H. Leitfred (Tech Mysteries No. 2)

Paperback 1082: Tech Mysteries No. 2 (1st ptg, 1949)

Title: Murder is My Racket

Author: Robert H. Leitfred

Cover artist: [Uncredited]

Condition: 8/10

Value: $20

[Autumn Leaves, Ithaca, NY (May 2024)—my first "Tech Mystery" (never even heard of this publisher)]

Best things about this cover: 

• These cheap digests often have dull covers, but this one's got a floating eye, a mystery hand that appears to have been in a bad accident, a very ribbony ribbon of smoke coming from a freshly fired gun, a jauntily multi-fonted title, and a color scheme that's bright as springtime. Plus the book is square and clean and the publisher is brand new to my collection. Win after win after win.
• Don't look at that hand too long, though. It's like a practice hand from an art school class, one where the artist couldn't decide whether to make it dirty or hairy and so kinda split the difference. Dirty/Hairy!
• Artist got a lot of expression into that half eyeball. Very furrowed eyelid. Wait, is that even an eye? Again, don't look at it too long. It's starting to look like a sunrise or a sunset or a cave or a slug-like behemoth inching its way across the horizon of a Surrealist landscape, look away! Oh god, it's on the spine!

Let's move on to less scary ... oh god!

Best things about this back cover: 

• Aw, he's a cute little guy.
• Instantly one of the best logos in paperback history. Too bad they couldn't think of anything to do with it but drown it in a sea of pink.
• I don't really get the "Tech" angle, especially not in 1949, especially with no discernible "tech" in sight. 

Page 123~

"This building here," pointed McQuarg.

I thought I'd seen all the "said" substitutes, but "pointed," wow, did not see that coming. Nice work, McQuarg.

~RP

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Paperback 1081: The Case of the Fenced-In Woman / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 77884)

Paperback 1081: Pocket Books 77884 (1st ptg, 1973)

Title: TCOT Fenced-In Woman

Author: Erle Stanley Gardner

Cover artist: [photo cover]

Condition: 7/10 (slight spine lean, some dings and dirtiness, kinda what you expect a book like this to look like)

Value: $6-8

[Binghamton Public Library Book Sale, May 2024]

Best things about this cover: 

• My wife got me this as a present from the local library book sale. Did not expect to reboot this blog with Ancient Chest-Shaving Rituals but you get what you get.
• "Now sweetheart, you know that's not a safe way to eat frosting, we've talked about this..." "DON'T FENCE ME IN, HAL!"
• Perry Mason Solves ... The Case of the Shirtless Dermatologist! "I don't like the look of this mole on your cheek, Sally. And your upper thigh feels suspicious, too. I'm gonna have to operate. Be a good girl and give me back my scalpel."
• Perry Mason Solves ... The Case of the Man with the Blurry Feet! (spoiler alert: his feet were hideous so the publishers blurred them)

Best things about this back cover: 

• My brain reading this back cover: "blah blah blah SUBURBAN SPANKING!? Awesome!"
• "Morley Eden said," is literature. It is art. It is a poem, the damnedest poem you ever heard.
• "Snaky gowns that cling like the skin on a sausage" is the kind of thing they send you back to Simile School for. "You're trying to convey 'sexy,' right? "Sexy, yeah, sexy." "And 'snaky,' that's OK, that kinda gets you there." "Yeah, gets me there, gets me there..." "But 'skin on a sausage'..." "Yeah?" "Well it's..." "Hot!?" "No, I don't think—" "Wait, wait. Let me explain. See, the chicks are the sausage, which is delicious, right, and..."

Page 123~

"You came over here in a hurry, didn't you, Mason?" Tragg asked.

"I do many things in a hurry."

"Did you just wink at me, Mason?" Tragg asked, his uniform clinging like the skin on a sausage...

~RP

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