Author: Lee Borden
Cover artist: uncredited
So recently a reader wrote me asking for "Lady Into Fox" (one of the weirder covers I've ever featured on this site). I was gonna let him have it for the price of postage, but instead we did something novel — we decided to swap books. In exchange for my sending him "Lady Into Fox" (which, frankly, is still sitting here unsent, because I'm lazy), he would send me a ... surprise book from his own collection. Well, surprise! It arrived yesterday, and it turns out: I already own it. So I'm giving it away to one of you — randomly-selected commenter gets it.
Was going to go with "Best Comment" wins it. But then reconsidered. While I really enjoy most of your comments, I knew that if I'd had to pick a winner ... well, my money would have been on "Random Chinese Spammer." That guy's just too good.
Prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong.
~RP
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
Of course men are haunted by her. It is very frustrating to try and have sex with a mime.
ReplyDeleteLooks like a Cinderella story, except that when the clock strikes midnight she starts growing a beard and losing the bone structure in her hands.
ReplyDeleteObviously, Sylvia's secret is that her pinkie finger is fusing with her ring finger--horrors!
ReplyDeleteSylvia's secret: Her real name is Silvio. Also, she's the world's shittiest interior decorator.
ReplyDeleteYou know the term "5 o'clock shadow?" Well, by the looks of things, I'd say it's about 7:30.
ReplyDeleterp
And yay to new commenters.
ReplyDeleteA woman was practicing her seated Balinese dance routine in the nude when the doorbell rang. "Who is it?" she asked. "Blind man," he replied. "Just a minute," she said, and opened the door without dressing. The surprised man said, "Where do you want these venetian blinds, lady?"
ReplyDelete[yes I deleted and retyped my comment three times because I cannot tell a joke without messing it up)
She had been all things to all men... but she still couldn't get that Vulcan hand greeting right!
ReplyDeleteSome things are meant to stay secret, and I'm pretty sure Sylvia's one of them.
ReplyDeleteOh no! My computer won't load the photo? Venetian blinds? Ring-to-pinkie finger fusion? Mime sex?! The tension is overwhelming!
ReplyDeleteThe secret of Slyvia - she's a man, baby!
ReplyDeleteThe secret of Sylvia is, she's actually just what Plastic Man trying to make himself fun to look at in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteI was going to guess her secret was "scoliosis", but that doesn't appear to be very secret.
ReplyDelete(Can we award Marla an internet? 'Cuz that joke was awesome.)
The Chinese Slats to the Spine Torture! O, the horror!
ReplyDeleteSylvia's secret to keeping her figure was lunching on a bowl of fruit and a potted plant every day.
ReplyDeleteSylvia looks pretty sexy. This was clearly before the days that the standard of sexy wasn't "anorexic / heroin addict."
ReplyDeleteSylvia's secret? She's a man, baby!
ReplyDeleteThat looonng blue ribbon. I want to pull it. Tug it hard while...
ReplyDeleteHey, she's the slattern, not me.
My vote goes to Twitter Buzz. His snark was dead on!