Showing posts with label Beach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beach. Show all posts

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Paperback 602: The Body Lovers / Mickey Spillane (Signet P3221)

Paperback 602: Signet P3221 (1st ptg, 1967)

Title: The Body Lovers
Author: Mickey Spillane
Cover artist: photo cover (pictured: author Mickey Spillane himself)

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover: 
  • In which Mike Hammer hunts down the monsters who designed this poor girl's wardrobe.
  • The budget for this cover shoot appears to have been about six dollars. Give or take.
  • Somewhat unfortunate that, in this pose, it looks like Hammer was caught on the verge of violating a corpse. Talk about your "Body Lovers!"
  • This is flawless, unread copy.


Best things about this back cover:
  • Ooh, I actually like the tricolor effect.
  • Underground orgy cults are the best kind of orgy cults. All the other orgy cults are too mainstream.
  • Next time someone claims to be a V.I.P. ... now you know.
  • Is that Buffalo News blurb praise or horrified observation? "Moose bondage!? Dear lord!"

Page 123~
"Just so you can't say we're not covering every route I'll see what Interpol has on Ali Duval and have them pick up anybody in a fez who isn't a shriner."
Exotic headwear enthusiasts, beware.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Paperback 589: Summer Widow / Florence Stonebraker (Beacon B394)

Paperback 589: Beacon B394 (PBO, 1961)

Title: Summer Widow
Author: Florence Stonebraker
Cover artist: Al Rossi

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover: 
  • "First the pelicans, now this!? Damn you, oil spill!!!," raged Steve.
  • "Your abdomen, it's so hot ... like ... like warm asphalt ... seriously, what the f*&^ is this?"
  • The black Sharpie assault on this woman's torso may be the single lamest act of censorship on record.
  • Florence Stonebraker ... she sounds like a real ... stonebreaker.
  • Every girl's gotta have a pair of beach heels. Or just one beach heel, I guess.


Best things about this back cover:
  • Time On Her Hands / Men On Her Mind / Sand On Her Butt
  • Oh, "tucked." That says "*tucked* away at a summer resort ..." How disappointing.
  • "What followed was ironical and bitter" is a sentence you should work into every story you tell for the rest of your life. It's a lapel-grabber.

Page 123~
She tried to fight. But what was the use in trying to fight an avalanche of insensate lust?
The guitar moaned. 
She screamed ...
Never mind the seeming impossibility of "insensate lust," I can't help thinking about what this monstrous woman is doing to that poor, poor guitar.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Paperback 503: TCOT Sunbather's Diary / Erle Stanley Gardner (Pocket Books 4514)

Paperback 503: Pocket Books 4514 (1st ptg, 1962)

Title: The Case of the Sun Bather's Diary
Author: Erle Stanley Gardner
Cover artist: Robert McGinnis

Yours for: $10


Best things about this cover:
  • Among my favorite McGinnis covers. I love that he's got the gorgeous woman in a discernible context—great sense of setting and mood. Love her "what the fuck do you want?" stare, and her glasses, and the texture and angles of the wooden walkway, and her hair, to say nothing of the sun-shaped title.
  • If you look at her ass (and why not?), it looks like this woman's bikini was originally somewhat larger, and pink, and then it was changed to skimpier, and black. Good choice. Love the little side-tie.
  • Never was too sure what was supposed to be conveyed by that arrow inside the author's initials. "Perry Mason goes down ... to the beach? gets down ... to business? takes the elevator down ... to the cafeteria?"


Best things about this back cover:
  • More arrows, pointing in random directions. "Perry Mason goes around ... the block to the deli?"
  • Down to the penny. Back when pennies mattered, dagnabbit!
  • OMG, is Perry Mason the killer!? I have to read this! (is what no one reading the back cover would say)

Page 123~

Paul put the receiver to his ear, said, "Yes. Hello," then listened for a moment, said, "The deuce!" then turned to Perry Mason.

"Okay, Perry," he said, "the fat's in the fire."


Even mild-mannered Perry Mason found Paul's refusal to communicate in anything but old-time exclamations and idiomatic phrases exasperating.


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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Paperback 440: What a Body! / Alan Green (Dell 483)

Paperback 440: Dell 483 (1st ptg, 1951)

Title: What a Body!
Author: Alan Green
Cover artist: Gil Darling

Yours for: $13


Best things about this cover:
  • "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy ... oh, it's just a gun."
  • "Hey, easy ... gimme that back. That's my special novelty lighter I got for being second-best regional sales manager in Pensacola."
  • "OK, hon, you hold real still ... I'm gonna practice my ninja moves on you now. First, I crouch in plain sight, in broad daylight, in a sky blue suit. Next ..."


Best things about this back cover:
  • Well, it's legendary, and you can see why.
  • I can't even snark this. It comes pre-snarked.
  • The best part about this chart is the arbitrary numbers. I mean, is there really an 11% chance I'll be able to place my date in my overcoat pocket? One in ten of my dating prospects is roughly the size of a ferret? That number seems awfully high.
  • Was there ever a time where that woman looked appealing? Her boobs are non-existent, which is fine—no reason every woman should be busting out of her clothes—but she also has this odd growth on her head and she appears to have just strangled some poor scraggly bird. She looks like she's on her way to a funeral, or to worship Satan.

Page 123~

Prune-juice fancier that he was, he went on sipping staring into the hypnotic depths of the swimming-pool.
That is surely the only time in the history civilization that that particular opening clause has been used. And for the record, that sentence is punctuated *precisely* as it appears in the book, however unbelievable that may seem.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Paperback 340: Youth Against Obscenity / Sharron Michelle as told to Rex Nevins (Saber Books 106)

Paperback 340: Saber Books SA-106 (PBO, 1966)

Title: Youth Against Obscenity
Author: Sharron Michelle as told to [!!!?] Rex Nevins
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $25


Best things about this cover:

  • All this female flesh and I'm somehow obsessed with the driftwood (!?)
  • These ... I'm gonna say 'triplets' ... have very nice bodies but scary alien faces.
  • Love the cross-legged guy—just havin' a cig, checkin' out the view...
  • "As told to" is perhaps the richest, awesomest thing about this cover. "Mmm, authenticish."


Best things about this back cover:

  • If you made it through that second sentence (let alone the whole description) with even a fingernail still clinging to the main idea, you're a better (wo)man than I am.
  • How is this description simultaneously massively detailed and exceedingly vague?: Crusading against "something?" Selling photos to "a segment of the public?"
  • "Of whom..." It's like an earnest 14-yr-old wrote this.
It should be said that there are hand-written / cursive marginalia all over this book—2nd page has the beginnings of a detailed synopsis (breaks off mid-sentence [!?]) and first page has one-line rating: "VVVG perhaps the best of my 30 books"—seriously, this book's owner Really liked this book. Like the person who wrote the back cover copy, this book's owner also comes across as an earnest 14-yr-old.

Page 123~

Danny looked at Betty again, only this time his eyes took in her hair, breasts, legs, and buttocks, all at once.

It's an well-seasoned leerer who can take in breasts *and* buttocks "at once."


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]