Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Paperback 545: The Marauders / Michael McGann (Jove 10150-8)

Paperback 545: Jove 10150-8 (PBO, 1989)

Title: The Marauders
Author: Michael McGann
Cover artist: Uncredited

Yours for: $6


Best things about this cover:
  • Countdown to a gay porn movie shoot in 5, 4, 3 ...
  • Russell Crowe, Joe Piscopo, Some Weasel Face, Eric Roberts, Lorenzo Lamas, and ... That Bald Asian Guy are ... The Marauders!
  • If you think those guns aren't cock substitutes, just check out how bachelor #3 is holding his. He's stroking its balls / presenting it to you on a platter / begging you to admire it.
  • "We used to have shirts, but our bodies were so hot they just burned away. Now all we wear is this fire-retardant kevlar stuff. Marauders!"
  • I want one of these patches to sew onto my ... I'm gonna say 'underwear.'
  • "From the Creators [plural] of The Guardians" ... and yet it's written by Michael McGann [singular]. One shape-shifting, multiple-personalitied, gun- and gay-porn-loving guy.
  • After a nuclear war, wouldn't these guys be a little ... anti-climactic, actually.


Best things about this back cover:
  • Nothing.
  • KGB Chairman, ha ha! Good call, 1989. Way to predict the fyooture.
  • "There's a first time for everything—especially death" is an unintentionally great line. Pearls of wisdom, compliments of ... The Marauders!

Page 123~

The two men walked out of the car. Jack looked over his shoulder. "Buddha? Can you loan me your rifle for a moment?"

In case you were wondering what they were gonna call That Bald Asian Guy. Now you know.


[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]


Anonymous said...

It's a little know, but absolutely true, fact that shirt buttons are the first victims of Nuclear Armageddon. The little bastards melt at the merest sniff of a nuclear bomb. You may laugh at his predicitons of the fyooture, but he's got some of his facts straigh.

Random White Guy said...

I can already hear the Eighties techno music playing over the opening credits of the straight-to-video movie of The Mauraders.

Keir said...

If he needs petrol so badly, what the hell is his army "racing across England" to get to the North Sea for?!?!

DemetriosX said...

Everything about that cover just screams 80s. The artist appears to be doing a really bad Michael Whelan imitation.

While looking to see if I could find the artist's name, I learned that they cranked out 7 of these between 1989 and 1991. It's the last gasp of late 80s post-apocalyptic war porn.

Anonymous said...

I read this novel as a 9 year old, back in 94 we didn't have cable and TV didn't start until 4pm so this was one of many books I read. Funniest memory from this was "Sunnovabitch" which was used a lot.I actually asked my mum what a "sunnovabitch" was, lol. In all its barely 200 pages and I believe was to have a sequel which I never read. To be honest I actually enjoyed reading "The Marauders"