Title: Restless Women
Author: John Falcone
Cover artist: Uncredited [awfully Gene Bilbrew-esque]
Yours for: Not for Sale (Gift to the Collection from Doug Peterson)
- What is it with the seriously ugly dudes on these covers lately. Looks like someone put a rubber mask on that guy and then punched him in the face til he died.
- He's dead, lady. He doesn't care about your stupid seashell fan.
- So they've brought a mattress and a ... turkey? game hen? ... to the beach?
- Top woman's body is insane. Looks more like braided challah than human flesh.
- Looks like half of your "four-woman harem" has gone missing already, buddy. You kind of suck at this. Maybe you should wake up. Oh, right, you're dead.
- Magenta woman stands under giant magenta feather / waterfall. No one knows why.
- If you never thought there was such a thing as "appositive abuse," check out that third paragraph.
- "Nocturnal nude swim" = when technical writers are hired to write porn.
But as Lola went on, he made a conscious effort to shut it out of his mind. This kind of drivel could spoil a man's breakfast. He motioned to the waiter for more coffee. Lola kept droning on. If she was an actress, he was a giraffe.
If the front cover illustration is anything to go on, I'm buying "giraffe" before I'm buying "Movie hero" who juggles "four demanding sex machines at once." I mean, have you tried juggling sex machines?! Very slippery.
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